To do something poorly…until you get good!
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Who set your boundaries? Everyone has them. It is the lime between what you think you can do and what you think you can’t. It is the line in your head that tells you yes or no when an idea is presented. You may not be able to tell what they are but you can instinctively know which on which side of the line the idea falls.
Somehow you always know what you can and cannot do or what you will or will not do. I don’t mean just the veneer of morals and civilization that we learn growing up. What I am talking about is the sense of your own abilities and talents. The skills you know that you posses and the skills you know you lack.
Somehow growing up you get the idea that you have some skills and lack others. Children don’t have this knowledge. They will do anything and be pleased with the result until adults straighten them out (usually for their own good). Adults tell you what you are good at and over time you believe them. Once you accept those judgments you start setting limits and boundaries for your life reinforced by the lie that people are born with talents.
Geoff Colvin has demonstrated that talent is a myth. Skill comes from discipline and skilled instruction. Yet it is far easier to believe in talent than hard work and it is a great excuse for mediocrity. It is comforting to believe that It isn’t your fault that you aren’t good at anything because you weren’t born with talent.
You are the expert on you! Don’t punt!
Accepting the judgment of others about what we are good at while growing up sets those boundaries that limit our life possibilities. The lie about talent reinforces the walls and our confidence about what abilities we posses and lack. When you are forced to take an action outside your boundaries, instead of excitement about breaking new ground, you believe that your poor performance confirms your lack of ability and convinces you to never try again.
Changing your life requires changing your beliefs and actions. It means doing and learning new things and most of them will fall outside the walls you built in your brain about what you can do. The way to start this process is to give yourself permission to do something badly while you learn. Every beginner starts badly and only over time and with focused effort do they acquire skill. You are no different.
Lifestyle design means creating the life you want; not accepting the life you have. And to get that life you may have to push across those self-imposed limits you accepted long ago. Moving on will require you to cross those boundaries and when you do you might perform badly- at first. Give yourself permission to be bad at something for a time when learning a new skill can open new possibilities for your life. It is your life. Don’t let somebody else decide its boundaries.
