Memories
Ever since meeting the Richmond High School Class of ’46 last week, I’ve been thinking about how important connection become as you get older. Early in life you generally have a mission. It may be career. It may be your kids. It may be impressing people; living in the right neighborhood or driving the right car. For me it was all of the above and important as they seemed at the time, it was all superficial. Part of my mission in creating my retirement lifestyle is untangling all those competing drives and finding the ones that really matter. The kids are out of the house. They have pretty much decided their own life missions. Our relationships are firmed up. They are either good or bad. Changing them now will be a big task. So now what?
Without those connections, old age can be empty.
So now what do you do? One of my surprises has been renewing old relationships through social media, particularly Face book. I’ve made connections through Facebook with classmates from high school and it’s made me realize that with everything I’ve done since I graduated,I haven’t changed much. Eager as I was to put my small town high school years behind me, I find that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.
I live 1,700 miles from my home town these days, way too far to visit casually. While I admire and envy those guys from Richmond, I only know of two LSHS grads withing 200 miles of my house and only one from my class. Still, Face book makes long distance connections possible. Take my high school – Lee’s Summit High School in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. Now we have two Face book groups- one for my class (’59) and another for two decades of graduates (50’s and 60’s). It has been fun to share memories and connect. It is strange how I now connect with kids I didn’t hang with in high school. The band geek can now connect with the cheer leader. Amazing!
The other interesting thing is connecting with different classes. I had some friends in the class two years ahead of me (’57). Now I have more and it turns out that the Class of ’57 is much more active than my own. There is a core group that meets for lunch regularly- like my guys from Richmond and they publish a monthly newsletter modeled on our high school newspaper (Hi-Life). Originally, the newsletter was emailed but Face book provides a wider distribution so now you can find the issues in our group posts on Facebook.
Connections are important.
Thinking about the Richmond High group made me realize how much I value the connections with my own high school these days even from far away. I really appreciate the effort of the LSHS class of ’57 and enjoy their newsletter. I also enjoy the groups of graduates. I feel that Face book is invaluable to keep connectinons when you are far away or less mobile. It may not replace getting together on a regular basis but it can keep you connected with people and experiences that are important.
How do you stay connected?
What do you do to keep connected? Do you connect with friends from high school, college, work? Do you use Face book to keep relationships going over distance? What is important to you in your retirement lifestyle?
When you retire it is always great when you can keep your connections in place so that you don’t drive yourself nuts from being alone.
I totally agree. Being alone and unconnected can destroy so much of the potential enjoyment.
Hi Ralph,
Not having grown up and educated here in Australia I did not keep in regular contact with my class mates…Some have since move to Australia and have been in touch.
I am lucky that I have a large family base and we do get along very well so the need for friends is not important.
Don’t misunderstand me I love meeting and interacting with people but don’t think I will pine for the social interaction if it were not there.
Good Post.
Cheers
Bryan
Bryan McHeyzer’s last Blog Post ..So-that’s-what-it-means!
Bryan,
This is all very personal. I don’t ever believe that there is only one right way that works for everybody. I would say that as I get older, I am attracted to a more simple way of thinking like when I was a kid and surprisingly, connecting with friends (and even people who weren’t friends) from school is satisfying. I wouldn’t have guessed that this would be so. They aren’t so much friends as connections and touch points. Thanks for your take.
Ralph, this may seem a little cold hearted to you but I have no connection with former classmates nor do I want any.
I had two good friends at school, one was killed in an air crash and the other I still see occasionally.
I found out in a period when friends were needed that my ‘friends’ were conspicuous by their absence, so from that time I haven’t made friends easily. My father used to say that your best friends are your family and I have found this to be true. Having said that, my small circle of friends are reliable and would do anything for each other.
I also find that as you go through life your circle of friends alter, what were the circumstances that made you friends at the time change and contact is eventually lost.
Although I did open a Facebook account I never use it as I find the comments people leave are inconsequencial but I can see it’s benefit for people like yourself who live long distances from their friends and don’t physically see each other on a regular basis. This is almost turning into a post itself.
Bill
A-U-L, UK
Bill Murney’s last Blog Post ..The World’s Worst Golfer
Bill,
I’m not much of a hail fellow, well met either. I don’t get close to people. I do feel lonely from time to time and making connections through Facebook is good for me.
I am back in touch with an old Army buddy that I lost track of years ago. I wouldn’t say that my Facebook friends are the people I bare my soul to but they do help me feel connected.
I read somewhere that people should get serious about leaving comments which ought to be five paragraphs. Maybe you are on to something.
Face Book could be great, but I’m just not doing it. I’m suffering from media over-exposure right now, and more input into my life is not something I want right now. But, I do have some close male friends, and it’s always good getting together with them.. ya just gotta make the effort to cal em.
hansi’s last Blog Post ..He said What?
Hansi,
It’s all personal choice. I’m just surprised that I am drawn back to connections I couldn’t wait to sever when I left for college.
I meet once a month with a group of former coworkers on a monthly basis for lunch and BS but my only connection with friends from college or high school is by facebook. The facebook connections seem so out of context because so much time and space has passed since I was together with these people.
Steve Skinner’s last Blog Post ..One Big Hunk of Metal
Steve,
I think it is all very personal. I don’t know how I might do with a regular group of guys from high school. I might very well decide like you that we just don’t have much in common these days. What I know is that my social connections these days are week and the guys from Richmond really impressed me because they were still connecting after all those years. Facebook excites me because it allows you to pick up old connections. Maybe they aren’t deep but having connections- as many as you can somehow seems important to me these days.