How my life gets out of balance

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I’ve been torn recently.

All this talk about a balanced life is fine but it is harder to live than to talk. It is easy enough to set out a work schedule and balance the hours but quite a different thing to actually work it. And it is especially difficult if you are pushing yourself into new activities and learning new skills because you can’t predict how much time they really take and they often lead you to new places.

I think that this is one reason why people (and when I say people, I mean me) cling to routines and the familiar in their lives. If you really want control in your life then you avoid new things because they are unpredictable. They take you into uncharted territory where you can lose your way- and your ability to manage your time.

So if you want to change, you give up control 

Recently, I have been developing a new marketing system for my business activities. Theoretically, I already have the skills necessary but I have never used them in this way. This simple task has eaten up days of discovery and experimentation and diverted me from my normal routines and schedules. It is an inefficient process but it has its benefits as well. Yesterday I found a source of information for the next step in my business plan. It was a detour from getting my video done but will save me time later on. Still my schedule and the balance it provided is shot.

What I realize every time I push myself to learn a new skill is that learning is messy and, unless you have a mentor, a rambling process. You don’t know enough to control your path and focus only on the important. It takes more time and energy to explore a frontier than to walk your backyard but the potential benefits are greater.

Still if I want different results I have to change something. 

In the end, I guess I’m just justifying my inability to get control of my time. When I push myself to learn new things, I can’t always keep all the old routines going. If I thought that the old routines meant that I was a success, then learning something new would clearly be a bad thing. But I want more in my life and the only way I can get it is to learn and grow. So I accept that from time to time, I’m going to lose control of my schedule. I’m going to get lost while I explore the frontier and let my garden get overgrown and weedy for a time.

But I keep forgetting the process 

The trouble is, every time I return to my garden with new knowledge and ambitions, just as soon as I incorporate them into a new routine and clean out the weeds, I forget the experience. I enjoy the new routine and the feeling of control that working the status quo always gives me and I get satisfied with the life I have. I forget my big goals and am content with my latest improvement.

It’s a big problem- or is it? How do you learn?