Note to self:Stop Being Ordinary

I am full of it.

Now and than somebody points out that I am full of it. Sometimes it is intentional and more often inadvertent. Mostly they do it in a nice, civilized way so that I can ignore their point. Sometimes they are a bit more blunt. I have enough ego that I can just ignore even the blunt statements. I already know that I am OK. I’ve got defense mechanisms up the wazoo. End of story.  Still, once in a while, there is a chink in my armor and something gets through proving that my artfully structured facade is only tinsel and glue. Bluster as I might, I am an average guy with average thoughts and average accomplishment- and above average ego.

I’m a poser.

I talk a good game. I know the jargon and I can bullshit until the cows come home. I talk about being outrageous but I don’t have the guts and integrity to actually move beyond ordinary. If it walks like a duck, then it must be a duck. Ordinary guys have normal lifestyles. Outrageous guys have outrageous lifestyles. Posers talk outrageous and live ordinary.

So what will it be?

Today I am trying to figure out what I really want. Is it pablum or curry. Do I want the Dumbo ride at Disneyland or Space Mountain. Do I want what I say or what I do? Outrageous people when you find them often don’t seem outrageous at first. They don’t brag. They don’t flaunt. They may just mention casually that they took four months to help out in Haiti or a Caribbean cruise on a tramp steamer. Those ideas never crossed my mind. Maybe I don’t have the vision to be outrageous.

Almost a year ago I got inspired to look for ideas off the beaten path by reading Seth Godin’s Purple Cow. I remember being excited and inspired at the time and wrote about on my blog. Go someplace wacky, I pontificated; attend a Star Trek Convention. But even I didn’t take my own advice so why should you? I’m still stuck at ordinary.