The most important question for Lifestyle Designers

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Who do you think you are?

Long before I ever heard of Lifestyle Design, I remember my mother asking me this question but it was more like WWHHOO do you think you are? You probably have a similar memory. It may not be your mother? It might be your Dad, a friend, a teacher or even a casual comment from a stranger. And it wasn’t a positive and encouraging statement, was it. It was putting you on notice that the you that they were observing was not the you they wanted to see. It’s a part of growing up and an appropriate call to action for someone needing guidance. It’s a signal that, at least in their eyes, you have gone off the track. It is a message to look at what you are doing,  think about the person you want to be and ask if what you are doing sends the right message about who you are.

Grownups use the same words

There is a time and place for that kind of question but at some time in your life you need to move past the judgment of others and search your soul. As a grown-up in charge of your life, it isn’t important what other people think about you. What is important is what you think about you. Change the emphasis from who to you. Who do YYOOUU think you are? This goes to your self-image; the model that you see in your head when you think about yourself. It means all the boundaries and self-limitations that tell you what is possible and what is out of the question.

Growing up and becoming an adult means defining yourself relative to the world around you. As a child, you don’t have limits. You can believe in possibilities. You haven’t yet set your limits or defined your potential. Adulthood generally means accepting the realities of life and finding your place in the world. It means accepting a definition of who you are and unfortunately for most of us it means accepting a definition of who we are not.

Adults live in a world of limitations

Think about all the things that ‘you can’t do’. And then think about how the things you can’t do limit your life. When you accept this self-imposed definition of yourself, you limit your opportunities. You settle for a lifestyle that fits within those boundaries. When you settle for a lifestyle, you aren’t in control. You didn’t choose to live your perfect day, you settled for the day that fit your self-definition.

For Lifestyle Design, self image is everything

That is why the first question that a Lifestyle Designer must ask himself  is who do you think you are. What self-limiting definitions have you accepted about yourself that holds you back? Do you believe that you can’t learn new skills? Do you believe that you can’t relate to people. Do you believe that you are dull and uninteresting? If that is what you believe, then it is unquestionably true and you are stuck. If you want to change your life, then start by questioning every self-limiting belief that you hold. If you want a different lifestyle, ask yourself what kind of person you would need to be to have that lifestyle. Do any of your beliefs prevent you from being that person? What are you prepared to do about those beliefs?

Your assignment

If there is something you would like to change about your lifestyle, then do this exercise. Ask yourself who you think you are and then write down what part of your self-definition makes it impossible for you to accomplish the change. Ask yourself how you learned this ‘truth’ and what you ever did to overcome it. How would you change that definition to make it possible for you to earn a different lifestyle? And if you really want to change your life, then change your belief and decide that you think you are the person who can live the lifestyle you want.  It’s all up to you.