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Retirement can be a self-imposed exile from life, exhileration and fulfillment. On the other hand, retirement can be a time of growth, excitement and satisfaction. What makes the difference? There is no secret. It’s your attitude. After a lifetime of accommodation, it’s easy to forget who is in charge. The only limits are those you accept. Many people drift into retirement and then wonder why it seems so empty. Even if you think you have a good retirement, you may not have considered all the options. These are the top ten reasons why retirement isn’t exciting. Which of these reasons is your excuse for not living the dream that’s hiding in the corner of your brain?
The top ten reasons why your retirement sucks.
1. You are just doing what everybody else is doing.
2. You worry about what other people think.
3. You don’t feel like doing anything anyway.
4. You don’t deserve any better.
5. You didn’t save enough money.
6. You don’t have any friends.
7. The kds won’t spend any time with you.
8. There is nothing you want to do.
9. You don’t get around so well anyway.
10. You are nobody special.
Maybe you have another one you want to add to the list.
Ralph, you hit the nail on the head with ATTITUDE.
That’s the number one reason for a great retirement or for falling into the trap summed up in your top ten reasons for retirement hell.
I am happy to say I don’t tick any of the ten boxes and I know you don’t!
Bill
A-U-L, UK
http://billmurney.com/blog/changing-priorities/
Bill,
It is definitely having the right attitude and then taking charge.
I’m with Bill on that one. Good attitude = good retirement. Retirement is what you make it, not something you’re doomed to endure until the end.
Hansi,
What’s a good retirement without the House of Pain to put it all in perspective?
retirement sucks for me
That’s too bad. Are you doing something to change it?
Me too. I hate retirement. I feel like a prisoner with no end in sight. Nothing to do nowhere to go. A big mistake for me.
The problem is my husband does absolutely nothing. He has no hobbies…nothing. Now he sits on his computer all day and plays chest, or some other idiotic game. I do gardening by myself. I am ready to go insane. I am so damn lonely. It has been like this since before he retired. He never liked hiking, bowling, camping, nothing. I’m sorry I am still breathing. I truly am jealous of those who have gone before me. I use to be an extravert. This is pure hell. My health has deteriorated and I know it’s this life style. Why is death so slow in coming?
dont blame your husband.. go do it by yourself or with a friend. Let him be happy being him and you be happy being you! I might not recommend going this far, but you can leave.
Most of these posts about how great it is are written by 45-55 year olds that talk the talk but haven’t walked the walk. It does suck and suck and suck and gets worse everyday. Nobody saved enough money, there are a hundred younger little leaches, the government, and a thousand companies, looking for ways to separate you from what little money you still have. There is no respect from anybody as in ANYBODY, even the cashiers in the grocery store treat you like crap, your kids if you see them at all blow smoke up your ass, and really want their inheritance now, or better yet just die and get out of the way. The grand kids disappear because their worthless parents didn’t teach them anything about what a family is. Add to that the aches and pains and you just spelled S U C K. Take your adolescent 50 cent Psychology and stick it . . . well I forgot where. What do you expect from an elderly person.
Getting old is our last learning opportunity. There are so many things wrong with aging and being old. On the ohter hand, I still prefer life to death and so long as I’m still amongh the living I’m going to look for the good around me. We are both survivers. My plan is to find as much good as I can along the way.
Retirement is simply a place to sit around and wait.
Bill,
Retirement is an opportunity. Do something unexpected. Challenge yourself to do something you always wanted to do. Don’t wait. Act!
I was just googling and found this site, Retirement if you are single, with little family and not enough money to do things you want, does suck, Ive been retired, not by choice for 7 years and iv e loathed every minute, Everything I want to do like travel,costs money. I sit my friends dog, she being younger still works at my old company, if I didn’t go that id go completely insane, I long for the stimulation of work, the camardarie and the pay. Ok I get a works pension buts it not enough to do what I want. Each dreary day seems to follow the other, friends either all still at work,or if retired with partners and a lot more money than me suggest WI, standing in a charity shop, etc, all terribly boring to me. It just seems to me that retirement is like just sitting around waiting for the Grim reaper.DONT RETIRE id say if you don’t have to, will be the biggest mistake of your life.
I am so weary of the Magic answer being ‘just keep active’ and thus blaming retirees for lives just aren’t what we thought retirement would be. Really now, how patronizing! Does anybody out there really believe if it was so simple ‘to just keep busy’ we wouldn’t already be doing it? We didn’t get to our retirement years by being stupid… of course ‘keeping busy’ is the answer to a fulfilling retirement! But so many of us don’t have the ability to do that because of circumstances beyond our control such as health issues, finances, isolation-such physical distance away from family, and a variety of other real and honest reasons. Often we truly are victims of our circumstances, whether we caused those circumstances or not doesn’t matter. Quit the arrogance of blaming retirees for not being able to change their circumstances and loneliness by trite answers of ‘just finding something to do’. That’s obvious…
Debbie,
Thanks for your comment. Perhaps I am condescending. I know that I do have good health and am comfortable. Perhaps I am insensitive to the difficulties that some other old folks may suffer and which limit their ability to live their retirement as an adventure.
On the other hand, I personally know many people who are healthy and financially secure who sit at home doing nothing. If this is what they want then more power to them. It just seems to me that we are only given a finite number of days and I don’t want to waste them. What I choose to do is my choice and what fulfills me may not work for you but I am always looking for some mission or adventure that is within my abilities and resources to fill my time. When health issues limit those possibilities (as it surely will), it won’t stop me from looking for others.
OH MY GOD!
I could have easily written those 10 items above, but it wasn’t always like that.
For the first time in my life (age 56) I searched for “retirement sucks”,
and landed here (to my great delight). I’m not officially retired, but after 30 years
of computer programming, I simply had enough, and decided to quit work and find something else to do, since I’ve always been Mr. Fix-it, I was sure that would be
simple enough.
YIKES! Was I wrong.
I now see everyone around me slaving for the machine.
Work! work! work!
Buy sh!t you dont’ need, and rush off to work to pay for it. INSANITY!
I never subscribed to materialism, so my wife and I paid off everything ASAP,
and never had kids (and never regretted it).
Its interesting to see how much it cost in the year 2017 without any debt.
It is all about ATTITUDE, and I FLUNKED THE COURSE.
I have a terrible attitude, and it needs to be beaten into submission,
and nobody can do it but me…just me.
Of course, I search out odd jobs, and my most recent failure was stuffing
envelopes. Not as fast as someone doing it 10 years, so they showed me
the door. I was more interested in designing a better faster way to do it.
Drill a well and stop carrying water, but humans get STUCK doing something
the same way for YEARS. Show them a drill and they’ll toss you out on the street.
Yes, everybody treats you like sh!t.
LISTEN: You and I are old (sort of).
WE represent what young people FEAR. AGE and wrinkles.
So they shun us. Didn’t we do the same when we were young?
Of course. (now its payback time, I guess).
Anyway, thanks for the enlightenment and comments from all.
I live on 9 acres in the middle of nowhere, so the isolation that I built into
my life has become a prison, sadly. BUT IT WILL CHANGE!
Best to all, and do write if you have a chance.
Mr. Brown
WoodManBrown@Yahoo.Com
Mr. Brown,
I loved your reply. You are dealing with aging as we all must with resolve and good humor. Interesting that you live on 9 acres in the country. I just bought 8 aces in a different state where I plan to build a house. Its a new adventure. I don’t have any friends where I live so Moving a thousand miles away doesn’t seem a problem especially when I get a new house designed for me (and my wife). It’s got a view for miles and much less government imposed cost and hassle than California. This should keep be occupied for at least a year. Then who knows? I only have to please myself (and keep my wife happy). How hard should that be?
It does suck. I hate being broke. I hate being home. You are kidding me right? Gardening and walking the dog is not a life. You are correct do not retire. It’s been 4 months and I cry every day and drink wine every night o
Sorry to hear that sadness. I wish I had a suggestion but the broke is a bad thing. Volunteering seems like a possible solution for being home too much. Best wishes.
It does suck. There is nothing to do and you will be all alone. I have money but I cant spend it fast enough. I too am just waiting for the grim reaper. I miss my life.
There is nothing to do and you will be all alone. I have money but I cant spend it fast enough. I too am just waiting to finish out this sentence. Who is kidding who? You can only go out so many times to lunch, walk the dog and work in the yard. I miss my life.
I retired after 34 years as a street cop. I am in my 4th year of retirement and I can say that for me, it sucks. I was left partially disabled after an on duty fight, left with ptsd. I didn’t know it at the time but my job was also my support system…it kept me together. When you leave, you leave. That support system is also gone. My friends were cops, most have retired, moved away. This sucks. My winter is spent filling bird feeders, watching birds and watching the clock. My wife is ill and can’t travel. You know its bad when you look forward to a root canal just to get out of the house.
James,
I don’t know what to say that isn’t obvious. Still I can’t help thinking that there must be something you can do to make life exciting again people have encouraged me to find ways to help others as a way to feel better. Getting out of the house and doing something is good but how do you fine something you want to do. I guess doing something that helps others is where I would start. How can your experience as a street cop be valuable to civilians? Try something. It can’t be worse.
I agree with June Muskett, only I’m married, have no children and no grandchildren. I honestly don’t know why I retired, it was sort of on a whim. I was recovering from breast cancer and thought I couldn’t do my job anymore. How wrong I was! I decided to retire instead of trying to return to my job while still in recovery. I left a wonderful job, with good pay, perks, and benefits. I enjoyed my job. I needed another year at least before retiring. I feel too young to retire (64) I am now a volunteer in a hospital gift store, but not enjoying it. I miss my job, my workmates and even my commute. I am regretting making such a hasty decision. I had no idea that I would loath being retired. It’s driving me crazy. I wish I had just gone back to my job and waited another couple of years to make such a big step. Talk about “buyers remorse” I hate retirement.
Just recently turned 36 and have to admit can’t help but think about my elder years, I generally have a very negative view on retirement, I personally have family members that ended up with dimensia and parkinsons disease in retirement years but always lived mentally and physically good-wholesome lives in their young adult to middle aged to their retirement years, I’m just afraid if working everyday comes to an end then living comes to an end based on what I witnessed from those close to me
Well, I guess I’ll chime in. Retired from flying for a major airline after 40 total years in the cockpit. Was starting to lose my “edge” and made a command decision to quit while I was still ahead. The years of travel and stress were taking their toll on every aspect of my life. Took an early-out option and started the new dream.
Initially my wife, who chose to keep working, (also in the airline business), was on board with the retirement. But, it didn’t take long for the resentment to start. Almost immediately, it became “my fault” that she had to go to work. She talked me into getting a puppy, so I wouldn’t be lonely.
That sealed my fate. now I was retired, isolated, wife gone most of the time, and completely tied down with dog sitting.
Love projects, but soon ran out of enough of them to keep me busy.
That’s when things really got bad.
Now we have moved to a sunshine state, she still works, I still dog sit. Days are sunny and warm and very long and lonely. Also, now, nothing I do is ever enough to counter the lack of respect and resentment aimed at me by the spouse. By the way, she works because she wants to. We would be OK financially. I have pretty much completed renovating the 3d house in the last 10 yrs. But because I’m not “working” it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do matters, only what she thinks is important. I’m not allowed to have a beer either and I’m on call for every “emergency” that gets manufactured in her life. Just f—-ing love my retirement.——-NOT. If I had the energy to go through another divorce, I might just accept the offer. I agree with the majority here. But it’s not just retirement that sucks. It’s pretty much everything. Oh, well, at least the dog likes me. 🙂