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Retirement puts work in a new perspective. When I was working, the idea was that work was part of a career. You chose a profession or a calling and it defined your life and who you were. That was always the way I thought about it when I was young and getting started with my life. It pretty much stayed that way through my career although toward the end I found myself wondering about my choices. Was there a better way to manage my life and could I manage without a job altogether. And who was I anyway?
Still I maintain a pretty conventional outlook toward work. I couldn’t get over the feeling that my job defined me. Even when I was stimulated to consider the fantasy jobs I wished for in my life, I couldn’t get past the idea of a job and working for someone. Most people don’t have an independent income and need some way to support themselves. These days, the standard is a job, selling your time and talent for money. We like to rationalize that into a career or a calling but there is nothing noble about exchanging time for money and being dependent. A job is selling out a part of your life.
There is nothing wrong with this transaction but when we turn it into something noble and call it a career, your life gets perverted. Your priorities are all off.
Who are you really?
I was shaken out of that mindset by a comment on my post about career fantasies. Hansi said “Wait a minute. I didn’t have any stinking career. I’m not defined by what I did for 30 years. It was just something I agreed to do to support the lifestyle I wanted.” I’m paraphrasing and expanding his comment a bit but I think I’m pretty close. No bullshit about how much satisfaction and community value resulted from his work. Obviously value was provided but it didn’t define who Hansi was. He didn’t need the job to give his life meaning. When did I miss that lesson?
As a recovering career seeker, I wish I might have had a better perspective about work during my ‘career’. It might have saved me a lot of frustration and heartache. It might have given me freedom to be me. It might have changed my life and put me in a better place to manage my life.
As it is, my eyes are opening now as I try to design and manage a retirement lifestyle without the support from a job or career to define me. I am winging it but slowly I seem to be growing a backbone and taking chances both in ways to make money and ways to live. I still need work but no more selling out and no more career. I’m designing a lifestyle.
I think you are being a little hard on yourself Ralph.
Even though I was self employed I still sold out for the $, or in my case the £, selling my time and talent for money.
We all have, or had to earn, whether you had an independent or employed mindset. I don’t think being employed meant you sold out part of your life.
I often thought about the extra leisure time I would have had, and hassle I wouldn’t have had, if I had opted for employment.
Bill
Glad to be retired.
Bill Murney’s last Blog Post ..Payback
Bill,
I think the difference is who you sell out to and for what. Selling out to yourself is way better than selling out to someone else. A job protects you from many things but it leaves you dependent and it attaches you to things that you might not otherwise choose.
I didn’t have the perfect job, but I needed the job to live a secure life. My job changed over time and I felt it was worthwhile because I helped people. Most of us don’t have a trust fund and aren’t sure what we really want to do. I’m just grateful I had a job that provided a pension and health bebefits. Now in retirement, we can chose how we spend our time. I don’t think about how my life would be if I made different choices when I was younger. I think we should just concentrate on now and enjoy the life we have.
Donna,
You are absolutely right that it is crazy making to think about what could have been. I guess I think about it because options never occurred to me along the way and maybe by talking about it now it might help someone like me to break out sooner. Still having to take a job doesn’t mean that it defines you.
Thanks for your writing, Ralph. It’s thoughtful and good.
I Agree with Bill Murney; most of us need to earn our way, and I don’t consider it selling out, as if there were some moral opprobrium attached to it.
I’ve usually thought that a job can build to a career, which can build to a profession, each step bringing more unity and direction (career), along with special training and service to others beyond what’s transactionally required (profession).
Teachers, doctors, nurses, lawyers, and other professionals pledge to serve the interests of students, patients, and clients, which implies they take the others’ welfare as a primary motivating force in their work. As such, it’s possible for a mere employee in a “small” job to elevate his or her work to the level of a profession, like a “professional” waiter in a restaurant.
In retirement, because we may have some guaranteed income, independent of work, we have the opportunity to serve differently. Still, if we worked during middle life with an attitude toward building unity and depth in our work, toward serving those around us, then we should and can regard that work as part of our identity or definition.
If we didn’t like work or viewed it mostly as coerced compromises, then yes, retirement is surely an opportunity to move on to better things.
For most of us, work was probably a mix of both.
That’s how it seems to me right now.
Warren,
Thanks for your comment which is practically a post in itself and certainly a valuable amplification of the this topic. I’m not really anti-job. I am anti the mindset of a job being your only option in life. One hundred years ago people worked for themselves and jobs were only an option.
Ralph, that was an accurate quote. Didn’t realize it made such an impact on you. Ever preferring play over work, I always viewed my “career” as just basically prostitution: selling myself for money. Now in retirement, I’m whoring myself again in probation-land, but only for money. I see working in retirement as a financial opportunity only, and definitely not a reflection of who I am: a cheap whore 🙂
I liked your post, not only because it mentioned my name (the important part, ha ha) but because I’m working on a rough draft about working in retirement. You bring up some good ideas on the subject.
hansi’s last Blog Post ..More Word Press Ideas
Hansi,
Rather than a cheap whore, I would call you a man with his priorities straight. Looking forward to your magnum opus.
Hi Ralph, Interesting post. I think many people define themselves by the work they do and also by how much it pays. Once we hit retirement, we have to figure out another way to define ourselves.
I’ve had many different jobs over the years. I spent 10 years in the Navy as an operating room tech and also did that in civilian life. From there, I had a home daycare for 10 years and then moved into something closer to my passion in life-journalism and freelance writing.
The first two jobs I did were partly for the money but also I did like the idea of helping people by doing my job well. The “job” I have now I don’t even consider work, but play and may never stop doing it.
Funny thing, I make less money now that I did at the other jobs but enjoy it much more. I think when we can define ourselves by our passions in life, we’ve come to a good place.
Joan,
I think we finally learn that money isn’t everything and that living is an art.
Ralph@Retirement Lifestyle’s last Blog Post ..If I had it to do over?