What is the meaining of life?

Do you have it figured out?

Do you ever ponder the meaning of life? I know I haven’t spent much time thinking about it so far I have spent most of mine working through the numbers, meeting situations as they occur and basically winging each event. Sometimes I look back and try to appraise my performance; other times I just breathe a sigh of relief and hope I can get through the next challenge. That has pretty much been my life to date. Any successes have been inadvertent-because my eye hasn’t been on the prize. Truthfully, I’ve spent much of it without any idea about what was important- or maybe more accurately, thinking that the wrong thing was important.

Retirement helps you focus.

If retirement makes any sense, then it is the elimination of complications because you no longer have to worry about a job to provide your living expenses. That job was always a false god encouraging me to think that job success would create life success. Looking back, it is clear that job success if a fine thing but it can never compensate for failing with your family or community.

Losing your independence sharpens it.

This week provided a window of clarity as I spent two days in the hospital for observation. Two days of tests and being treated as an invalid were very enlightening about what is important to me. It all ended well. I got free, even if it took two days. None of the tests indicated a problem. I received confirmation that I do my job as a father and husband. I learned how important to the rest of my life it is to maintain my health.

Two Lessons

My family supported me in my weakness and got me to the medical facility for treatment. My long distance son was ready to fly home until I dissuaded him. It was very gratifying to feel loved and appreciated in spite of all my failings in the past. It was worth spending two days in the purgatory of a hospital bed to get confirmation of my family’s love.

The other lesson surprised me more. If you don’t maintain your health, it is impossible to retain your independence. It has been my goal to avoid any prescription drugs and so far I have succeeded. The hospital nurses were astounded that I take no drugs. They said that the average person of my age is taking five or six prescription medications. I had no idea. I have been spared the complications and dependency that those drugs create. I want to take credit for at least some of that accomplishment even granting that I may have been given some pretty good genes. Beyond drug dependency, however, there is the physical dependency when you don’t maintain good body strength and balance. Once that is gone, my independence is gone as well. Two days in the hospital made it very clear what you lose when your body is dependent on health practitioners for life. You lose control of your life.

What is important for me.

So as I enjoy my freedom and independence today after talking to my long distance son on the phone and having brunch with my wife and other son, I am beginning to feel that I finally understand the meaning of life or at least a big part of it. There is certainly more but it all builds on the base of my family and my health. I would never have chosen to spend two days in the hospital but now that it is over, it is clear that those two days have done more to clarify my understanding of life and success than the past year of retirement. It makes me even more determined to keep that control as long as I can.