Part 1, The Window Box from Hell
Busted again. This is my third run-in with my HOA (homeowners association). It seems that their mission is to ensure that all the unadorned beige facades in my community are equally bland and tastefully dull. In order to protect that mind-numbing blandness, I pay them over $500 a quarter to maintain my front yard – a task they take very seriously.
It is not as if I want to do anything revolutionary like say painting my house green. My first mistake was thinking that a window box would set off the slightly Spanish facade of my house. To that end I purchased an attractive copper and wrought iron box to place on our over sized sill in my wife’s office. Filled with flowers, it added a spot of color the the harmonious beigeness of my street. For six months, I enjoyed the distinction of having the only window box on the block. Then we got the letter from the HOA.
You are violating the rules, it informed me. You are prohibited from placing objects on window sills. You can talk it over with us if you like but get that ugly thing off the sill or pay us a fine of $1,000. Thanks, Your HOA.
Well, I did the American thing. I ignored them. We do live in a free country, don’t we. I would understand their concern if I had left a wrecked car in my yard to rust, but a window box? Give me a break.
It was quiet for another month. They must have been bluffing. I guess I showed them. And then the second letter came. Your hearing is scheduled, it said. Well, I wimped. The rebel in me folded when faced with a hearing in front of a kangaroo court and a $1,000 fine. So the window box is now adorning the retaining wall in my back yard and my beige and boring facade matches all the others on my street. But that was only the first round.
To be continued.
