United States of Wimps Having grown up in the practically prehistoric 40's and 50's, (For example, my family did not have a TV until I was in the third...
Blast from the Past It has been over a year since I started Ralph Carlson Blog. Over that time I have tried some things and made some adjustments and...
You can call it the wet, cold mackerel of truth. You can call it having the curtain lifted. You can call it being honest with yourself. But whatever you call it, it is devastating. It was suddenly very clear to me:
1. I don’t know what I am doing
2. I am not making any progress toward my goals
3. My goals are hopeless and unrealistic.
Suddenly I was in a funk.
My life was in shambles. I was doing too much in too many areas and as a result spreading myself too thin. I wasn’t doing enough about the important things and spending too much time on trivialities. I way overestimated my ability to take on the challenges of my goals and therefor couldn’t hope to be successful. I was spinning my wheels. I wasn’t getting traction. You name the failure cliché and I was flogging myself with it.
I should have been depressed.
Surprisingly I was not. It was almost comforting. If my perception of reality last night was correct then all I had to do was relax and let mediocrity roll on. No more daily challenges to be more, do more and learn more. No more pressure to engage and relate with new people and new experiences. I could just relax and let my life flow on as usual. No more pressures. Everything would be fine. We can get by with my retirement income. My car is good for another 180,000 miles. We really don’t want to take that cruise. I began to wallow in the comfort of mediocrity. I slept well.
Back in perspective.
Thankfully, a good night’s sleep helped me get my life back in perspective. The ‘truth telling’ of last night was in reality a lie. I am making headway on my goals. I am staying focused on strategic activities and letting some of my marginal ones go. I may not have everything figured out. Some of my decisions may be flawed and need changing down the line and I may have to adjust my priorities from time to time. Daily I am learning new skills, understanding myself better and managing and focusing my limited time and resources to make my dreams happen.
Moving on.
Today I took the tasks were causing my funk and addressed them. It only took a few minutes and they went from being problems to just issues to take care of as needed. Then I sat down and planned my day and now am doing what I need to do.
The lesson.
The reason for dragging you through my journey is not to pat myself on the back. I want to illustrate how small things can influence my attitude and how much I am drawn to comfort and security. It was enough to make me distort reality, convince myself that black is white and almost enough to keep me satisfied with the usual routine over making a difference and being exceptional. What made the difference for me is the reading of good books, the examples of people who make their own good luck and the honest reflection of how far I have already traveled on my journey. I am certain that successful people deal with this struggle from time to time but keep moving. I know that there are many other people with tremendous potential that aren’t able to argue against self doubt and stop fighting because they haven’t read one more book or learned from one more winner how to fight the battle for success. You surely fit one category or the other.
The question.
Have any readers made that transition from knowing you can’t to knowing you can? Are you choosing to reject the ordinary and aim for extraordinary? If so, what made the difference and how does it keep you going against your own denial?
Beating Your Stats - Update for February When compared to my stats for the end of January posted last month, we are seeing some growth here at RCB but only in returning...
Beating Your Stats I have never used my stats as a measurement and encouragement in my blogging. This is just one more activity that wasn't on my radar....
Money May Satisfy But Does Not Bring Happiness I am intrigued by the relationship between money and behavior. Knowing something about it helps me understand why I and the people around me do...
Life's Little Money Mysteries Periodically I encounter a situation in my money and personal finance life that causes me to scratch my head and rhetorically ask how that can...
It has been over a year since I started Ralph Carlson Blog. Over that time I have tried some things and made some adjustments and changes in my schedule and the topics for the posts. It is very much still a work in progress. Some of the posts are worth bringing back once in a while so, from time to time, I like to select a few posts to highlight in a a review for new readers or long time readers who may have missed them.
Todays selection begins with The Comfort Zone, that happy place where everything seems so warm and fuzzy that it is hard to start anything new. Of course, one of the big reasons why you stay in the Comfort Zone in the first place is your fear of Messing up and until you Show Up, nothing is possible. Neither do you want to procrastinate about moving forward to your goals but I have found that sometimes procrastination can be a good thing. Before you take any of this advice too seriously,
Beating Your Stats I have never used my stats as a measurement and encouragement in my blogging. This is just one more activity that wasn't on my radar....
Obstacles-not barriers but challenges Obstacles are normal It is normal to think that obstacles stop us from achieving our goals. At least that is what the majority thinks. Everyone...
Turning Blog Visitors into Blog Readers One of the most important things that you can understand when it comes to your blog and attracting readers is that there is a difference...
It is interesting to get feedback. I don’t know about you but I think I know who I am. Who I really am and who I think I am may not be the same thing. Like so many things, what I think is true about myself doesn’t always conform to what I learn about me from other people.
Connections
In my employee mode, I only worried about credible associations (my resume) and needed to be relatable only to the guy I wanted to hire me. I could pick and choose who to suck up to. As I explore the web and struggle to find my niche in the web community, it is a big adjustment. Credentials are unimportant and sucking up leads nowhere. What works best in transparency about who you are, what is your passion and even your flaws or weaknesses. In other words , you need to be a real human being, much like 90% of the readers out there on the web. I confess that this is not easy for me. I am insecure and have long used sarcasm to keep people from getting to close to the real me.
To get back to the point I started with, James over at The Infopreneur graciously accepted a guest post of mine for his popular and content-rich blog. James and I are about as different as two people can be. James is a doer where I am a thinker. I don’t seem able to control my lizard brain while James seems to lack one altogether. It all points to the miracle that is the internet. Without it what could possible connect a warrior like James to a pseudo-intellectual like me? It wouldn’t happen.
Beating Your Stats - Update for February When compared to my stats for the end of January posted last month, we are seeing some growth here at RCB but only in returning...
Social Networking Image by luc legay via Flickr Why I started About a year ago I began to hear about Web 2.0 applications and social networking. People...
How to Gauge Web Traffic to Your Corporate Blog There are actually a couple of different ways that you can effectively gauge traffic to your corporate blog, each giving different answers and filling in...
Moving Right Along It has been just over one month since I decided to retire. I expected that I would accomplish so much with the time freed up...
Feedback and Connections photo credit: lululemon athletica Feedback It is interesting to get feedback. I don't know about you but I think I know who I am. Who...
4 Ways to Keep People at Your Blog The longer you keep someone at your blog, the more they read, the more they see your message. If you're selling something on your blog,...
Friday Gathering: Christian Finance Blog Edition The 2009 nominees for the Plutus Awards are up and there are five nominees in the Religious Personal Finance blog category. Today, I thought I...
Australia celebrates its founding with the first fleet’s arrival in Sydney Cove in 1788. British sovereignty over the eastern coast marked the beginning of the land down under. Now look!
Success is a process not a destination! We Listen to the Wrong People. [/caption] I think we learn the wrong definition of success because we mostly know unsuccessful people. To unsuccessful people,...
What is Your Train Wreck? [/caption] Last week I briefly discussed the three train wrecks that can mess up your life. Mine at this point in my life is the...
Visit Australia: The UN-Official Guide [/caption] Australia is the largest island in the world and a continent to itself. Before European settlement, it was inhabited by the Aborigines (or Kooris)...
We Must Stop Living Throw-Away Lives. This is not about who we are or what we do, but rather what we consume. In the not-so-distant past, humans either made or purchased...
For a blogger, what a difference it makes when someone takes the time to add a comment to a blog post. It is an ego boost, of course, to get a response even if it is just your Aunt Gertrude. But beyond the simple pleasure from being acknowledged, there is so much more value in those comments because they can help you improve your communication skills.
First of all you can learn from what they appreciate and respond to in the post and how they relate to it. Maybe you thought that the value was x and your readers tell you that they saw y. That can tell you something important about your priorities or about your audience. Then you may also find that they completely miss the point you thought was so beautifully made. If you have a big ego and think that you are a pretty good writer, it can be deflating and maybe make you angry.
You think, “No, you fool, that’s not what I said. Can’t you read English?”
But, of course, you don’t say that. You don’t want to antagonize or insult anybody and you definitely don’t want to discourage them from coming back so you just answer, “Thanks for stopping by.”
That ego-centric mental perspective probably helps explain at least some of my difficulty in getting comments but there is more to learn. Good as I think my writing is, it is only as good as what my readers understand it to say. If I clearly make a point about the sky being blue and my readers enthuse about how lovely a green sky can be, the problem is not with them. My communication skills suck.
I always have a fantasy of just zapping a thought into the air and having it understood exactly as I meant it. It never happens that way. Words and language are imprecise and people have different interpretations of almost everything. My experience and understanding of words is never the same as somebody else and if I insist on being clear to myself, I will certainly fail to be clear to others. If my very clear writing is interpreted by others in a different way than I intended, it is always my fault. No body else cares – or should care – what I thought I was saying.
So thank you to my commenting readers. Thank you for giving me feedback about my posts. Thank you for helping me see that my clever turn of a phrase didn’t work. Thank you for letting me know that I am really saying Y when I thought I was saying X. And thank you for helping me get over my ego trip about what I great writer I am. I started this blogging gig with the idea that I have something to say that can provide value to somebody. I do hope that this is true and that I am learning each day how to be better at it. But what I am really finding is that I am learning so much from others on this same journey, especially those who take the time to read my posts and leave a comment.
Who am I? Lately I have been struggling with this very important question. It is difficult because all through my Life, I thought I knew the answer. When...
Lists from the past Image by koalazymonkey via Flickr Lists are good. Lists have been hot here at RCB over the past week Both the top 10 reasons to...
6 Things I am Thankful for... I was visiting some blogs that I normally would have never seen or known about, but because of a little research, I found some great...
Turning Blog Visitors into Blog Readers One of the most important things that you can understand when it comes to your blog and attracting readers is that there is a difference...
Sunday Funnies Since weekends are generally slow reader days at my blog, I am saving interesting and perhaps funny things that are somewhat off the beaten path. ...
Comedy - How to be Funny I am not funny. Any amusement I provide others is purely by accident. I can’t tell a joke, relate an amusing event or embellish a...
I’m still struggling to get control of my time after retiring last month. That beautiful forty hours each week freed up with that decision somehow haven’t converted into additional productivity. It seems like, instead of getting more done, I am actually getting less done.
Right now my challenge is getting a rhythm and a pattern going that makes sure that I get basic things done each day and move forward on the things that will make me some money. I am putting in the time but I am sure that I could be managing much better.
For example, I dithered today trying to find a way to sync my windows mobile phone with a web based calendar like Google or Thunderbird. There doesn’t seem to be anything. I would probably have used my time better to just enter my appointments both places and forget about it but I keep thinking that there has to be something. So that is just one example of how time gets wasted.
It is always better when I find a solution from one of the clear thinkers on the web. Today it is Chris Brogan with his post on a farmer’s list. Put simply, a farmer’s list is those tasks that must be done every day or else. Farmers don’t have the luxury of postponing tasks. Milking has to be done every day or the cows stop giving milk. You can’t put off harvesting wheat or it shatters and falls to the ground. So Chris uses a farmer to help understand what kind of tasks need to be on the list. He gives his list – and it is a good one. I would like to say that I am doing everything on his list but I am not Chris Brogan – at least not yet.
So for today this is my list:
Blog Post up for today.
Draft tomorrow’s blog post.
Check emails and respond.
Read 30 minutes or more.
Respond to blog comments.
Check my blog follow list and comment when possible
Work on income producing projects.
It is not as good as Chris’, but it does include everything that I know I have to get done each day. When I get this list under my belt then maybe I can add more.
Looking Back [/caption] I have covered quite a bit of ground here at RalphCarlsonBlog. I started the blog thinking that I would report on quirky and interesting...
What's in a Name? Image by Bekah Stargazing via Flickr Getting Started. I gave my blog the imaginative name you see here for a reason. It was to give...
Steps To Start Online Business - A Beginners Course Welcome to the beginners course on Steps To Start Online Business. So far this blog (eMoneyMakingOnline.com) is running good, publishing great content that helps any...
Blogging Away Debt has posted Carnival #116 A big thank-you to Tricia from Blogging Away Debt (who is now halfway toward her debt payoff goal!) for hosting this week's Carnival of Debt...
When my wife joined me in LA after her completing her Masters, it was a really big adjustment. For and East Coast girl, LA in the 70’s was almost impossible to grasp. She knew how to drive but had never owned a car. High school in Philadelphia never required driving and city life in Providence, Cambridge and New Haven while she attended college, got her first job and attended graduate school were no different. Now, living in our penthouse (LOL) in West LA with a great view of The Santa Monica Freeway and downtown LA in the distant smog, she decided that she needed a car.
We shopped small cars, looked at Toyota’s and Datsun’s and were turned off by the light weight and tinny feel of those early imports. Finally she selected a snappy looking 1972 Chevy Vega hatchback in silver. The picture here is not her car but very similar.
Just buying a car was only the beginning of her adjustment to LA, first she had to get up the courage to use the freeways. LA freeways in the 70’s were very threatening to anybody who didn’t grow up with them. I had very seldom seen a freeway with more than 3 lanes before but in LA 3 lanes is a bare minimum. Now, LA is not so unusual but it was common in LA to laugh at visitors who would stop on the on-ramps because they were too intimidated to merge into the speeding traffic.
It took my wife two or three months of driving surface streets before she began using the freeway to get to her job downtown but once she finally took the plunge, she relished the freedom of LA freeways. In those days, before the oppression of Governor Moonbeam (Jerry Brown) who stopped building freeways, LA freeways were one of the wonders of the world. You could get anywhere, anytime, fast. This is no longer possible due to population growth and the demonization of the automobile and LA is becoming more and more unlivable.
My wife loved the Vega and the freedom that car ownership and the LA freeway system gave her. It served her well with none of the problems which many people attributed to it. We kept it even after she moved up to a real LA car in 1976 and it became my commuter car after we moved to our first house at the beach. What did my car-loving wife trade up to in 1976. I’m afraid you will just have to stay tuned.
Growing Up - 1968 Chevy II [/caption] My first new car was bought for me by my father, the week I got out of the Army. It was not the car...
Another Carlson Car Past [/caption] The hottest family car ever purchased by my father was a sharp black 1959 Chevrolet Impala convertible. This one looks great in red but...
Fleased a car - Ask the M-Network This article is part of the Ask the M-Network series. Jason submitted a question and asked: So, I fleased a car about 3 years ago,...
Crystal Springs Golf Course, Burlingame, CA Crystal Springs Golf Course is located in Burlingame, CA Phone: (650) 342-4188 Website: http://www.playcrystalsprings.com Course History: This is a very historic course that was designed...
Related Posts 
United States of Wimps Having grown up in the practically prehistoric 40's and 50's, (For example, my family did not have a TV until I was in the third... 
Blast from the Past It has been over a year since I started Ralph Carlson Blog. Over that time I have tried some things and made some adjustments and... 
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=23a2ecb3-c2d8-4caf-beab-d9cb28ef6605)
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=df99efc1-e428-4306-b366-6f591f7236e3)
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=7b93a97c-6800-4ec8-ba23-6a692c6cf752)
![Self-Portrait with Broken Mirror [Diptych]](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3170/3027142577_f63c689f62_m.jpg "Self-Portrait with Broken Mirror [Diptych]")
Ralph on 
TheInfoPreneur on 