Ralph Carlson Blog

Sometime change comes to you, in fact, most of the time that’s the way it is.  Reacting is not the best way to manage your life but when change comes at you, it’s all you can do.

What do you do when change comes to you?

Keep calm – You gain nothing by panic.  A good, well-considered response will always be better than an instinctive one.  Look it over carefully.  What is different?  What is the same?  Why is it happening?  What is the cause of the change?  Get you hands around it and understand its guts as much as possible.

Hold on to your principles- Don’t do anything that compromises your integrity.  Sometimes change is a test of our moral compass.  Will we bend our beliefs and standards to keep upright in the midst of uncertainty and challenge?

Try to get the big picture- Who is the change agent?  Is it one person or an organization?  Is the change part of a larger economic or societal shift?

What can you control? – Is there anything or anybody you can influence?  Sometimes it can be as simple as talking to the change agent and learning a new perspective or shifting priorities.  Other times there may be no one in charge, just strong forces imposing different standards.

Look for the opportunity – There are opportunities in front of us every day.  We miss most of them for various reasons but a big one is that we are not looking for them.  This is even truer during a time of change.  Change always provides opportunities but it is easy to mss them if you respond in panic.  Train yourself to think: Remember that change equals opportunity, instinctively look for the opportunity when panic strikes.

Popularity: 1% [?]

• On the Road to Better Communication [/caption] I gave a talk this week.  It was stand-alone without slides or props.  It was just me and a handful of notes.  I don’t...
• Productivity on the way up here! [/caption] My new phone came Monday. It’s a smartphone running Windows Mobile. It seems to be one of the more highly rated models (HTC Fuze)...

• The Olympic Club Course Changes Monday morning at the Olympic club found a fog delay that pushed the start of play back from  7am all the way until 11am.  A...
• Your time's worth HOW much? It's helpful to figure out how much your time is worth in order to weigh trade-offs between money and time.  It helps to determine whether...

I am not funny. Any amusement I provide others is purely by accident. I can’t tell a joke, relate an amusing event or embellish a speech or presentation with any levity. If you can do any of these things, please move on to some other post because you don’t need my assistance. For all others, I share some resources and a tip or two that may help.

Stand up Comedy

It never crossed my mind to become a stand-up comic – until this week. It isn’t that I somehow decided that I want to make a living from stand up comedy. What I did decide is that just because I can’t do stand up comedy now is no reason why I can’t learn to do stand up comedy.

I continue to forget that human beings have this wonderful ability to learn. I tell myself repeatedly that I am just not good at x or y or z. This lets me off the hook. I don’t have to be responsible for that limitation – because it is not my nature. I let myself be limited. I don’t have to accept that limitation. I can learn to do new things. So that is why I was thinking about becoming a stand up comic. Where would I go to learn how to do stand up comedy?

Well, one place is this website providing training and encouragement for stand-up comics and stand-up comic wannabes. It is hard work to become good as a stand-up comic. But the comments show that there are lessons to learn and that by serious effort and discipline you can improve. I may not want to be a stand-up comic but I can clearly learn some good communication tools from comics and maybe even how to make people laugh.

Telling a Joke

You won’t be surprised to learn that until this week, I never lifted a finger to improve my joke-telling ability either. I was happy to tell people that I lack the ability to tell a joke and smile while they suffer through my heavy and dull presentations. Joke-telling is another of those skills that I dismissed as innate and therefore beyond my ability to learn. It also saved me the effort of learning how to tell a joke and practicing to improve my skill. There are a few principles to guide you in learning how to tell a joke and a number of places easily available on the web to provide them. Check them out here and here.

Funny writing

Nobody ever asked me to write something funny, certainly not at work. Maybe I was asked at school but if so, I don’t remember. So if I were going to write a humorous essay or story, it would be for my own pleasure. “Who teaches students to write humor?” I wondered. Then I found Connie Weiss who teaches humorous writing.

My point here is really not about comedy or humor. It’s about our willingness to self-limit our potential rather than accepting the opportunity to learn and grow. I will no longer excuse myself by saying that I can’t tell a joke.  I will accept that joke telling is something that has not been important enough for me to learn.  And then tell myself that it is about time for me to change.

Popularity: 1% [?]

• Obstacles-not barriers but challenges Obstacles are normal It is normal to think that obstacles stop us from achieving our goals. At least that is what the majority thinks. Everyone...
• Love, the REST of the story [/caption] I read a thoughtful post on love recently. The author considered love an emotion and talked about the power of an emotion and and...

• Why Resolutions Fail This is a Guest Post by Joseph Philips of Lifelong Project Did you know that most people ditch their resolutions before January is over and...
• how to make yourself an expert I know I've said this before, but I've never had any debt in my life other than a mortgage and a one-time, ill-advised car loan...

Photo by Karen Eliot

What is comedy?

Let’s try to get our arms around comedy. From Britannica Online Encyclopedia:

The classic conception of comedy, which began with Aristotle in ancient Greece of the 4th century BC and persists through the present, holds that it is primarily concerned with man as a social being, rather than as a private person, and that its function is frankly corrective. The comic artist’s purpose is to hold a mirror up to society to reflect its follies and vices, in the hope that they will, as a result, be mended.

I promised to keep Aristotle out of this but this is harder than I thought. Comedy, it seems, is a weighty topic. I was thinking about comedy as being all laughter and diversion from the complexity of life. Now I am finding that it incorporates social commentary and, dare I say it, morality. It’s all very perplexing.

Reading further, I find that comedy in modern times referr to a story that has a happy ending, like Dante’s Divine Comedy or the novels of Jane Austin. This seems out of tough in the 21^st century. We in post modern times seem to demand more than a happy ending. We want yuks, belly laughs and copious amounts of bad language to embellish our idea of comedy.

Reading further, I learn that laughter doesn’t have much to do with comedy at all. Researchers have determined that laughter is actually tied to human relationships. It is the glue that holds relationships together. Instead ob being a part of language, laughter is more like punctuation or a pause for breath in normal speech. In fact, it seems that laughter originated in primates as panting.

Why is it that we enjoy comedy?

It isn’t so simple to understand what comedy is. Neither is it simple to explain how and why something is funny. Laughter often accompanies comedy but it actually serves another purpose entirely. What is it than about comedy that we like? Part of the answer goes back to our definition and the social commentary function. One of the appealing things about comedy is its ability to make us feel better when we observe the failings of others. We are drawn to these opportunities to be amused at others limitations and feel better when we can feel superior.

Another pleasure from comedy is the element of surprise. Humor is often created by the surprising association of two unexpected elements.. Often the punch line of a joke twists our minds from the direction we thought the story was going to a completely different and unexpected destination. One aspect of the surprise is finding that after feeling superior to the inferior characters in a comedy, the tables are turned and we find that we are the no better than they.

What is your take?

Popularity: 1% [?]

• What it means to be a man. [/caption] Recently I created a list of 13 ways to improve your marriage. It turned out to be a pretty good list and it made...
• On Education [/caption]  A coupe of posts caught my eye this week talking about education. They were both inspired by a post by Leo Babauta of Zen...

• professional envy I don't usually like to prepare a straight-up reaction piece to other bloggers' posts, but this one just got me thinking so much that I...
• Fishing Tips and Techniques You Need Ask a thousand fisherman what they use or what they swear by and you’ll get a thousand answers. Fishing is a sport generally because it...

Photo by Pie4Dan

OK, things have gotten a bit heavy around RCB the last couple of weeks.  First stone age patriotism and then Aristotle but this week will be different.  We are going to explore comedy and believe me, nobody needs this more than me.  I am told that I have a quirky sense of humor (friends trying to be polite) or no sense of humor (my family).  I know that I can’t tell a joke, can’t explain why something is funny to me and don’t laugh at Ben Stiller.  So come along as we explore comedy this week.  I promise to try and avoid Aristotle.

Popularity: 1% [?]

• Get a Life Reading around the web to get a flavor of the ideas being discussed, I found this post on Copyblogger. James Chartrand tells bloggers to get...
• Top Ten Reasons Why Readers Don’t Leave Comments. [/caption] The stats tell me that I do have people dropping by this site. So far only my son has commented (and he does that...

• Three Ridiculous and Stupid Ideas that Save You Money While all of my posts are for your entertainment to some extent, this one in particular is intended as pure entertainment. I have to say...
• Why Focus Groups Fail for Test Marketing I just read something about using focus groups to test products for the market that made a whole lot of sense to me. It was in...

The deaths of two media icons provides a contrast in character and courage.  I will let you judge.

Popularity: 4% [?]

• Comedy Tonight [/caption] What is comedy? Let’s try to get our arms around comedy. From Britannica Online Encyclopedia: The classic conception of comedy, which began with Aristotle...
• My take on billboards I like them. First of all, they are useful because they provide needed information.  Like what exit to take to find the In and Out...

Photo by *~Laura~*

Quotations from others that I like:

Dale Carnegie: Quotes of Courage
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

T. S. Eliot: Quotes of Courage
If you haven’t the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you.

Harper Lee: Quotes of Courage

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

John Wayne: Quotes of Courage

Courage is being scared to death – but saddling up anyway.

Popularity: 1% [?]

• Showing Up [/caption] I have found that one of the most important prerequisites for being a positive person is participating; going where people are and interacting.  At...
• Flibbertigibbet Continued Image via Wikipedia Back in Focus Well I'm back in focus and ready to talk about how I struggle with focus each day. I am...

• Forex Trader’s Mindset (Part I) Learn swing trading.Most of our trading decisions are guided more by emotional than logical thinking. Our mind is capable of playing emotional tricks on us....
• Greater Awareness Courage is not a well understood factor of life, but we do experience it anyway.  It’s a pretty important part of life, so it might profit us...

First up from Digg this week some advice:  “What to do when you’re scared shitless.”

And then some old fashioned heroism that is just too much for the BBC

Finally a curmudgeon’s perspective on Courage in today’s USA

And if you are still with me, try this.

Popularity: 1% [?]

• Architecture in my past. [/caption] Part of my peculiar perspective on things comes from the way I think. I was just reminded today while discussing a mathematical problem at...
• Simple-What does it mean to you? Leo Babauta of Zen Habits has become a guru for those seeking to simplify their lives.  As he states in his Simple Living Manifesto: A...

• {Rules of PR no. 21} When PR offends PR: Porn, Cocaine & Celebrity If all you need is a sex tape filled with some golden showers, a mock radio-drug saddler and a good makeup artist to make yourself...
• Tips for Getting More Fruits and Vegetables Most people are not getting enough fruits and vegetables, despite the fact that there is such a large variety to choose from. Here are some...

Photo by Pie4Dan

Exploring patriotism and exposing my thoughts and opinions last week leaves me bruised, battered and exposed.  This week I intend to fall back into a more contemplative mode.  Courage is highly valued in every culture.  We speak of courage frequently and often trivially.  This weeks posts will explore how courage is understood and appreciated in both classical thought and modern times.

Popularity: 1% [?]

• What's in my Garden this week? This week I have a pink cymbidium blooming.  This is one I got since coming to NorCal.  I helped a lady divide and repot some...
• Comedy - How to be Funny I am not funny. Any amusement I provide others is purely by accident. I can’t tell a joke, relate an amusing event or embellish a...

• Do you prefer spur of the moment or planned? I know a couple who never want to do anything spur of the moment. I think they think it is rude to ask them at...
• Simple Tips for a Popular Blog Blogs are, hands down, one of the easiest possible ways for you to publish your thoughts or messages on the internet. Blogs are excellent for...

Photo by Fractal Ken

What is your take on Patriotism?  Just an old-fashioned notion with no relevance today?  What about outside the US?  Are other countries as obsessed by patriotism as we in the US seem to be?  What is your take?

Popularity: 1% [?]

• Diggin' Up [/caption] Looking for good news on Digg this week, I found these items: Number one is this exciting breakthrough in cancer treatment.  With a Digg...
• LA Art Museums - Part One While in LA last month, we visited several art museums Since moving north. we miss the museums we love in LA and savor any opportunities...

Photo by the Tahoe Guy

Appreciation of our freedoms

Patriotism, to me, is the appreciation of the freedoms and opportunities that our country provides. More than that, it is the understanding of why we have these freedoms and opportunities. It is more than just luck or being in the right place at the right time. It began with the wisdom of our founding fathers. They understood how government works and the weaknesses of human nature and they created a system to put the citizen in charge.

Manifestations

The result is a can do spirit and a belief that an individual can make a difference. American’s have used that spirit to intervene in international affairs with good intentions to share the blessings of freedom with residents of other countries. These interventions have been all over the map in results and appreciation but they stem from a commitment to sharing our freedoms with those who are oppressed.

We are also welcoming. As a nation of immigrants, we are proud of the national heritages we come from and the cultures they represent. They each contribute to the American culture that continues to develop and grow. We are forward looking and optimistic. We have been challenged in the past and triumphed. We are confident that we will do so again.

Threats

The success that we have achieved in the past opens us to a future threat. If we forget what made us great and take our current success and economic strength for granted, we risk losing all. Economic strength can fail. All great powers decline. America’s power comes from the energy and resilience of a free people.

Promise

Each test of America has been met with sacrifice and resolve by it’s people who renew and regenerate the wisdom of the founding fathers. So far, with each challenge, we have turned away from the temptation to take the easy route and live off the sacrifices made by those who came before us. I don’t believe that we are ready to do it now. I believe, like Ronald Reagan that :

“While I take inspiration from the past, like most Americans, I live for the future.”

This is what will continue to make America strong and lead the world to greater freedom and prosperity.

Popularity: 1% [?]

• What I'm Reading. William Grant Sumner,  a professor at Yale long before the Great Depression wrote an essay titled "The Forgotten Man". "As soon as A observes something...
• Me 2.0- Not just for Gen Y Today we all need a personal brand I just finished Me 2.0, Dan Shawbel's book about personal branding. He focuses, as you might expect on...

• Toddlers’ Activities Start Setting Up a Lifetime of Good Habits by Encouraging Activities in the Toddler Years. There is perhaps no greater amount of learning and development...
• The Psychology of Bubbles: Using Hindsight to Examine Why We Bought into the Hype I've been pounding the table pretty hard on investment bubbles lately. Probably because in the last decade, I've experienced more popped bubbles than I care...