Ralph Carlson Blog

Lately I have been struggling with this very important question. It is difficult because all through my Life, I thought I knew the answer. When I was a student, I defined myself by the school I attended. After school, it became the job that I held. Occasionally, I would define myself by my family. Today as I struggle to

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determine what is important to me; what makes my compass point north and how to unleash my passion, I wonder how I was ever satisfied with such superficial statements. What is it about our society that teaches us to value ourselves by association? Perhaps it is just clever marketing by the education establishment and corporations but I do think that human beings crave the comfort and security of associating with powerful institutions. I don’t know any statistics but I do notice that for most of my life a dependent relationship (job) was the preferred choice for most of us.

Now that it becomes clear that the promises that made dependency look so attractive were lies, we see different choices. Some are seeking another kind of dependency by electing statist politicians who will create a cradle to grave nanny state by taxing away entrepreneurs. Others are fleeing the empty promises of a life commitment to a corporation and becoming independent contractors providing value then moving on to another situation.

In this environment, it is important to know who you are and you can’t shortcut it with a job title or degree. It is all about how you treat people and what information or services you can give and the quality of that interchange. I don’t think this means that I must become a different person. It is just that these qualities never seemed to be the important part of the definition of me – until now. In this new world, none of these qualities will matter if the statists win but until then what is important about me is how much I care about what I can do that provides value to others and the way that I relate to those people to add value to their lives.  Maybe Seth has it pegged.

Are any of you struggling with this as well? I’d like to know your take.

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It has been just over one month since I decided to retire. I expected that I would accomplish so much with the time freed up from work. In fact, it seems that things pop up to fill that time and when I look back, I find that I have not been very productive. The truth is that the freedom from my job schedule has allowed me to slack off. I suspect that I have gotten less done than would have happened if I were still working. This is not acceptable!

Originally, I expected to develop a regular schedule that would accomplish much more work on my blog and my money making ventures with my newly freed time. It hasn’t happened. Looking back, it is clear that unless I sit myself down and demand some self-discipline, it’s not going to happen. I made a commitment to myself that I would replace my income over 2010. I think that it is a reasonable expectation…….. but it is not going to happen without a plan and some hard deadlines. I will just continue to drift.

Discipline is not my strength. I let myself off the hook all too easily and my attention flits from one task to another when what I am doing seem too much like work. I can tell myself what to do but it is much harder for me to actually crack the whip and hold myself accountable.

One problem is that I avoid making commitments and that makes it easy for me to rationalize when I don’t make real progress. So tomorrow, I intend to make a plan with some long and short term commitments, goals and deadlines. Within that framework, I will then establish a work schedule incorporating weekly and special commitments with enough time dedicated to the important tasks to accomplish them on schedule.

I don’t expect this to go smoothly. I don’t expect that I will change my nature. I do expect to become more focused and aware of my progress – or lack thereof. It is my life and if I don’t decide what to do with it, someone else will.

Is this an issue that anyone else has? What have you done that helps you stay focused and goal driven?

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Although I really haven’t developed a routine since deciding to retire and dedicate my time to growing my own business, I do spend most of my time at home. Required service on my car made me break out of the house on Monday. Rather than coming home and returning later to pick up the car, I spent most of the day drinking coffee and browsing at Border’s.

It was an interesting break in my routine, giving me an opportunity to observe people and do some reading. I read The Dip by Seth Godin. Somebody recommended it to me but I hadn’t yet managed to get a copy.  Border’s was happy to accommodate.  I finished before draining my large coffee.  It is a very short book but very powerful.  If you have read it then you know what I mean.  You already know a lot of what Seth says but he takes those things, shuffles them around a bit, applies a bit of logic and teaches you something completely different that you need to know – when to quit, when to persevere and when to double down.

Seth tells a story about how reading The Magic of Thinking Big changed his life. He doesn’t tell how and he confesses that he doesn’t remember what it was in the book that changed his life, just that it did.  He modestly expresses the hope that The Dip will change the lives of others.

I am sure that Seth has changed many people’s lives with this book because it moves them past the cliches they have heard all their lives and gives them a process to understand the path they are on and what are the appropriate actions to take.

You could say that Seth is encouraging people to quit but it’s more about understanding a life mission and only engaging in activities that move you forward.  I couldn’t do a greater injustice than to attempt to distill the message of The Dip.   It is short and so well written that you need to read it.  Well you need to read it so long as you are prepared to make a decision about your life and take action.  If you won’t make a decision to change your life no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, then don’t waste your time. Otherwise, read The Dip. You might just be surprised to learn what you need to quit.

If you have read The Dip and it has changed your life, please share.

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We can all relate to Dilbert because either we have been where he is or we are there now. I never understood what is really happening in those Dilbert moments and what I can do about it. I would shrug and blame corporate life and the soulless business model that emphasizes the bottom line and doesn’t appreciate the human beings but it isn’t that simple. I am learning that it is not the organization, it is really the people and how they exercise power in the organization.

To understand Dilbert, the best model I have found comes from Tribal Leadership by Dave Logan, John King and Halee Fischer-Wright. In this model, individuals operate on one of five levels:

1.Despairing Hostility – “Life Sucks”

2.Apathetic Victim – “My Life Sucks”

3.Lone Warrior – “I’m Great – and you’re not”

4.Tribal Pride – “We’re Great – and they’re not”

5.Innocent Wonderment – “Life is great”

Dilbert exists in Level 2 – “My Life Sucks” and the reason his life sucks is a manager at level 3, hung up with his own glory. Dilbert is powerless to change the situation. He knows that there are others whose lives do not suck but his does.

The only way out for Dilbert is to leave his current environment (job) where the deck is stacked against him and enter a new one where he can regain control of his performance and attitude. After spending some time at Level 2 it becomes hard to believe that your life doesn’t have to suck and you risk sinking to Level one where you no longer believe that life doesn’t have to suck.

When you are living at Level 2 at work, it is unlikely that you will find anyone willing to help you and the options you have are risky both emotionally and financially. Others at Level 2 will seldom be able or willing to provide support for your escape to Level 3.

I just made the decision to leave a work situation where I could no longer control my level. By forcing me to play a game designed by my boss and where he is also the scorekeeper and referee, I entered Level 2 and risked sinking to Level 1. It was a no-brainer decision but it is not always easy to think clearly at Level 2. For a positive person who gives his best and expects to be appreciated, it is difficult to accept that someone actually wants to hurt you and will stack the deck to make it happen. Reason prevailed. I did what I had to do. I fired my boss and left my level 2 work environment.

I share this not to gloat but as an example, and perhaps encouragement, to others suffering a Level 2 work environment. I hope that I can persuade you to read Tribal Leadership and learn more about the dynamic underlying the Dilbert life than you can learn from this short essay. Also, I offer encouragement that you do have some power to take back control. Don’t let yourself buy into accepting the Level 2 life. Leave a comment or send me an email if you would like to believe. I would like to help.

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I need your help.

I have been an employee for most of my life, some of that as a management employee meaning that I supervised the activities of others and had responsibility for activities bigger than I could pull off on my own. What amazes me is that even though our education system is oriented to developing employees who expect to spend their productive lives dependent on somebody else, we are not training them in the responsibilities that go with being an employee or the expectations from the boss or business owner towards an employee.

I have put together a list which captures the responsibilities of an employee and a manager/boss based upon my experience. I think it covers the big points but I know that anything based upon one person’s experience is sure to be missing something- or several somethings. I would like to ask readers to add, comment or critique my list so that with more experience and though, we can make it better.

Employee:

1.Perform required tasks

2.Support business goals

3.Maintain a positive attitude

4.Seek better ways to do the job

Boss/Manager

1.Provide clear directions

2.Respond immediately and completely to questions about job

3.Review work and provide comments in a timely fashion

4.Identify and remove barriers to employee doing job

5.Provide necessary tools and training

Corporate/Owner

1.Arbitrate disputes fairly

2.Be transparent in all actions

3.Walk the talk

Making the Relationship Work

You can see that I am focusing on the main reason for the job which is performing the tasks which lead the business to success so there is no consideration of benefits and salary here. I don’t mean to say that they are not important but my interest is in the relationship between the employee and the supervisor and creating a good environment for the employee to be successful and the boss to be satisfied.

Look at my lists of responsibilities and tell me what you think is good and what I am missing. How did you learn what you know about this relationship? Why do you think we let our kids grow up to be employees without giving them any training in how to be successful?

Add your feedback

With your comments, I would like to revisit this list and make it more comprehensive.

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Last week I exposed one of my flaws that I am trying my best to fix- the problem I have managing paper in my office.  Well Manfred has my solution.  He has found a way to eliminate those pesky piles of papers.  I am elated but I am not sure that his solution fixes everything for me.  First of all, it’s a piece of equipment – a nifty one I have to admit but it’s going to run me $400 and second when it eliminates the paper, it creates computer files – again they are search able PDF’s, but I’m back to the filing problem again.  If I had to $400, I’d probably jump to it because Manfred has moved me to a better place with my emails.

Here is what Manfred recommends:

The Fujitsu ScanSnap

The first and perhaps most important aspect of my paperless workflow is my trusty Fujitsu ScanSnap. I have been using my S500M (that’s the Mac version) for a few months now and have praised it in the past. I also just recently got a demo model (full disclosure here) from Fujitsu of the rockin’ awesome S510M [Amazon, Info.] I never thought I could get excited about something so traditionally mundane as scanner before, but I really, really love this device. In fact, the ScanSnap is probably my favorite piece of consumer electronics not made by Apple. (Check out the video.)

It’s certainly a step in the right direction if I want to clean up my act paperwise.  Is it worth $400?  I’ll have to think about it.  What do you think?

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I am not talking about what others may judge to be my flaws, numerous as those may be. Right now I only want to talk about those behaviors that I recognize as flaws in myself but seem unable to eliminate.

An example is the way that I organize the paper in my life. For example, I am completely unable to file things. If I create a file folder (either a paper file or in the computer) and store the item, two months later I can’t find it. As a result I make piles of things on my desk, on book shelves, in baskets and when I need something I go through them until I find it. It’s a workable system and maybe if I were single I wouldn’t view it as a problem or a flaw to be fixed. My wife is organized, tidy and able to throw any object that gets in the way under the bus. Without her example, I might never have decided that my system is flawed. But with her continued comments on my system, I am able to understand how inefficient and unattractive my system is.

My difficulty is changing myself. I now have paper folders for each category of expense during the year and once my bills are paid, they go into the ‘for file’ pile which gets filed periodically. Bills yet to be paid go into the ‘to be paid’ pile and then move to the ‘for filing’ pile.

So there is a kind of organized chaos in a portion of my office relating to the bills. It’s the rest of the paper is beyond my control. This means such things as recipes, articles, garden ideas, catalogs. Things that I would like to keep but have no idea how to organize.

In the back of my head I keep thinking that maybe Leo or Manfred has the solution but who has the time to search for it. I am too busy looking for that article on blogging.

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Everybody wants recognition and appreciation these days.  But where can you find it?  Not at work!  Maybe even not at home!

Unless……you make your own.

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So far the winner for the most liked of Zen Habits 72 ways to simplify your life in his Simplicity Manifesto is number 30 – Clean up your mailbox.  Katie has reworked her whole management of email using Merlin Mann’s (43 Folders) method.  Katie chose the same one that I did and feels just as positive about how it has simplified her life.  She had an idea that I never thought of but plan to incorporate – a folder for purchases.  I have been saving the confirmation emails for online purchases in the inbox for lack of a better idea and then deleting them when the product is delivered.  With a folder for purchases, the confirmation can go under cover until I need them.  This also helps me if I want to purchase again and don’t remember the site.  Thanks, Katie.

If you want to share your favorite go here.

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