I heard this last weekend from some people who have made big changes in their lives. It points up that I continue to tolerate that which I claim I want to change.
Photo byfurryscaly
Here is the back story.
Seven years ago, I took a well-paying job to supplement my retirement income. My rational at the time was that over 5 to 10 years, I would be able to afford to retire a second time and maintain my lifestyle while enjoying being ‘job-optional’. The two incomes leave us pretty comfortable and the job is tolerable and therein lies the rub. I am comfortable with this situation and not motivated to do what is necessary to make this a temporary situation.
I have with fits and starts revved up my efforts and then allowed them to fall back to maintenance mode. There is no continuing urgency backing up my commitment to this program and so here I am, no closer to my claimed goal than I was seven years ago.
So the problem here is that I can tolerate my job and the things that it keeps me from doing. Recently, the powers that be around work have done some things that should make me intolerant. Over my working years (too many to count) I have developed an ability to adjust to the unacceptable and I have to stop myself from this and let myself get angry and intolerant.
And then do what I need to do to reach my goal.
Ralph, You sound normal. I have worked from home for the past two years and have seen no increase in my income except from the odd jobs I take. I want to write for a living but seem to be not writing more than I should. You sound like this is the time you really want to commit. If you get through the tough times, you will succeed. I am waiting out the tough times as well. Success will come for both of us.
Steve,
Thanks for the encouragement. I suspect what I really need is a kick in the ass – or some really bad luck. Just kidding.
The frog dropped into a pot of cold water that is being warmed slowly will boil to death as it cannot precieve it’s own increasing tolerance to the heat.
Wow… that looks alot more morbid when you write it out. Sorry! 🙂
But like the frog, if you’re in it,you don’t notice.
What an awkward situation (i.e. intolerable yet somehow comfortable) that you got yourself in. It’s unhealthy and you need to resolve it now, tempus fugit.
Either you stand up to the powers that be, telling them your position – business-like – or get out. There is a good chance that they back off, for fear of losing a key person. If not, oh well, maybe it’s time to follow your dream. This comfort feeling (of steady income) is slowly boiling water.
But what I really need to do is build my excape vehicle. Resolving anything at work just keeps me not where I want to be.
Ralph,
Let me tell you another story, contemporary this time:
I have a friend who worked for the same company for 30 years (yes, he is about our age), with a comfortable job, a pension, plenty of actions and options accumulated over the years. The company has shown signs of trouble about 5 years ago, its sales deteriorated slowly, its shares now worth pennies. Yet my friend (and many, many of his coworkers) kept working and hoping for a better day until 6 months ago when the company sought Chapter 11. He was part of the ensuing layoff, with no severance package even if he was a 30-year veteran, his pension is under dispute, his stock portfolio is worthless. A very sad picture.
But this is just a small part of the story. The bigger one is what happened next. Over the years, he had a hobby in music, synthetized genre to be more specific, and dreamed of writing applications for it. He took the layoff as a sign that this was the time to pursue his dream and plunged head first into this new career. When I met him recently, I saw a happy man who told me that the only regret was that he didn’t get out 5 years earlier because of the false hope for better days.
Ralph, build your escape vehicle but don’t make it too perfect. Some people, like my friend, didn’t have one – they were forced to evacuate the premise on foot – but somehow they found the strength to make it to safety. Maybe you don’t need a car or a truck. Maybe a bicycle is good enough to get away.
Long,
You are quite a story-teller. There must be a story there. How story-telling works for a CIO.
You are right. I am a perfectionist and something that is not perfect would be perfectly adequate.