Today my mind’s on security- not financial security although it’s very important- I mean emotional security, the state of feeling comfortable in your own skin and with others. I don’t have it and in my dotage I am beginning to question my rationalization that it isn’t really important.

During my working years, one of the cliché management training exercises was about trust. They would ask you to stand with your back to your partner and then fall backward with the belief that he would catch you. I’ve never had to participate but I’m sure that if necessary I would happily trust my partner in the exercise to do his part. No trust is necessary because the exercise is a sham. It’s too public for anyone to risk not doing his job. Letting even a lousy bastard fall while your co-workers are watching would ruin your career.

Who can you trust?

The exercise seems to tell a story but it means nothing because it’s not real. Never in life have I needed someone to catch me from falling on my ass. The exercise is just an allegory to represent emotional support which is something entirely different. Just because I can trust a co-worker to catch me physically when the entire office is watching in no way convinces me that he will catch me emotionally or, more important, that he will want to.

Security in life is built on trust. When the demons come- as they will – who will have your back emotionally? Who will tell you to ignore the demon’s bluster threats? Who will promise to hold your hand until they leave? Who will cheer you up when you feel alone and helpless? Who will tell you that you have what it takes to prevail, that you are valuable and important? Who can give you encouragement when the demon attacking you is you? Who can you trust? [continue reading…]