by Ralph
on April 20, 2013
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We decided to spend Christmas away from home this year. The idea was to simplify and to eliminate any holiday craziness. Both of our grown-up sons joined us but not for the whole week and only overlapping each other on one day. We had great plans. I was going to sort out my priorities for the new year and come back with a refreshed perspective and a plan to build income. My wife’s plan was to take photographs of the beautiful northern California coast.
We also planned to read. My wife selected mysteries. I took a thick Sci-Fi novel that I had deferred for more serious reading but I also took some business reading that I hoped to study.
We packed carefully, loading the car with food and gifts, dropped off the cats and then drove the three and one-half hours to the Pacific Ocean and the quirky, architect-designed house we rented just feet above the crashing surf.
Now, one week later, we are back home. Did I accomplish everything I wanted? Do I have the plan for next year? Am I reved up and focused on making money? Not exactly. We did read. There is nothing more wonderful than reading with the surf crashing on the rocks and a blazing fire. I did take some walks. We did get a chance to talk with our sons and renew some intimacy which we had lost in recent years. But my big plan for next year is still somewhere in the clouds waiting for me to pull it together.
I feel like I squandered the opportunity to make those plans in a relaxed environment but maybe the truth is that the real value of a vacation is the opportunity to unwind, enjoy the beauty of nature and bond with my family. The plan needs to be done but maybe I undervalue the benefits of play. This past week was a wonderful time where I could let go and enjoy scenery and relationships. I can still prepare my plan now that I am back at home but a new part of that plan will be figuring out when we can get back to the coast for some more vacation.
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by Ralph
on April 20, 2013
When things go wrong, deal with it and move on
It is a fact of life. Things will go wrong- sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Don’t let it bug you. Often you will exaggerate the significance of the damage. The more time you think about it, the more you blow up the problem. It is what it is. It happened. It’s over and no amount of second guessing, wishful thinking or regret can change history. Look at it with calm dispassion. Assess the damage and look at the possible steps forward. Pick the best one and act. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t worry about who is responsible. Don’t look for a scapegoat. Your mission is to enjoy your trip. If there is a lesson, you can study it later. What is important right now is moving one. You are experiencing the trip of a lifetime (every trip you take from now on will be the trip of a lifetime) and you can’t afford to waste one moment dwelling on the negative. Use this travel lesson.
We all want perfection. In the US we are conditioned to expect- even demand it. But perfection only exists in the imagination or the mind of a government bureaucrat. Life is imperfect. Human beings are imperfect. Still we would like everything to go as smooth as clockwork. No one wants errors, glitches, faux pas or anything short of perfection. We don’t want do overs, quick fixes or redesigns. We just want to keep moving, keep our original schedule and, above all, look good. It’s human nature.
Given all the pressure we put on ourselves in stressful situations where there are big investments in doing things right (like a vacation), it is no wonder that things going wrong can make a good man turn ugly. Don’t let that good man (in the old fashioned meaning that includes both sexes) be you. There is a lot of pressure, a lot of money and most important of all, a lot of ego riding on the vacation. In the end, however, what will make the trip a success is not that nothing went wrong. The trip’s success comes from handling the good and bad with grace, enthusiasm and enjoyment.
A true outrageous traveler doesn’t let anything ruffle his feathers. He expects the unexpected. An outrageous traveler understands that when things are perfect, he’s been damned lucky. Don’t get cocky and overconfident. Enjoy the moment. Tomorrow will be normal.
Don’t expect perfection. Don’t think that you can escape reality. Plan for the best but deal with whatever comes along. It’s real. It’s happening. It keeps you on your toes. It opens up opportunities you never anticipated. Best of all, it’s exhilarating- even fun when you relax and go with the flow.
Dealing with a problem from time to time only makes you appreciate life’s pleasures all the more. Those problems, once you move past them also make great stories when you get back from the trip. Perfection is so boring.
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